Am I The Only One Worried About This?

You probably heard the news by now: Carson Palmer has signed the largest deal in NFL history... for now. (You know how these things are, someone will have a bigger contract by March.) On the surface, this is an amazing move by a franchise that has a reputation as being something of a penny pincher. It wraps up the franchise quarterback that Cincinnati has been so desperately searching for since the first Bush was in office. It sends a message to current players and potential free agents that Bengals who perform will be rewarded. So, what moron could possibly think there could be a downside to this? I guess just me.

Carson Palmer was signed through 2008, so it's not like there was a huge rush to get this done. He wasn't going anywhere until the next presidential election. As a fan, I was a little more worried about the offensive linemen who are not signed past next season. I guess CP's contract gives the team some flexibility to re-sign whomever they want. But I'm sill a little worried about the fact that this contract will be on the team's books for the next eight years. The team is comitted to Carson, for better or worse. Sure, he's had a great season. But, as unlikely as it is, what if he's a one-year wonder? What if he gets hurt? Palmer's agent, David Dunn, even compared the deal to Daunte Culpepper's. The Vikings could be attached to a quarterback with a bad knee for years to come. I guess I'm just worried that the Bengals could be saddled with a deal that could hobble this team if something goes wrong with Palmer on the field.

Also, I think it's a little crazy to have a deal that goes until 2014. The salary cap may not even be around next year. And there's no guarentee that society as we know it will still be around when the contract runs out. Skynet may have assumed control, the living dead may be walking the Earth, or this might become a planet where apes evolve from men. I mean, 2014 is a long way off. Or maybe I'm a long way off.

Fan Film Friday: 2005

I haven't really done anything in the realm of fan films lately but I did review more amateur efforts this year than last year. At first, I was pretty regular, having a Fan Film every Friday. This year, I've taken many hiatuses (haiti? haitum?). Some due to laziness, other times just to sit back and wait for worthy Fan Films to reveal themselves.

In countdown fashion, #1 is the last one on the list. Underneath the movies are the overall score (out of 25) I gave the films. If there was a tie between movies, the tie-breaker was simply a gut reaction: which one do I want to see more right now?

20. Star Trek: Hidden Frontier
(12)
19. Bite Me, Fanboy
(13)
18. Black Panther
(16)
17. Ghostbusters in LA
(16)
16. Hulk: Aftermath
(17)
15. Debil Dead
(17)
14. Cape Chaser
(17)
13. Waiting For Serenity
(18)
12. Anakin Dynamite
(18)
11. The Death of Batman
(18.5)
10. Doom Raiders
(19)
9. Mosquito
(19)
8. King Kong: Don't Mess With The Monkey
(20)
7. Sith Apprentice
(20)
6. Indiana Jones and the Treasure of the Templars
(20.5)
5. Robin's Big Date
(20.5)
4. Alias: The Lost Episode
(22)
3. Batman: New Times
(23)
2. Losing Lois Lane
(23)
1. Star Wars Ep III: A Lost Hope
(24)

The scoring system has been tough to come up with, but I think I understand how it works now. The closer the score is to 25, the more likely a wide range of people are to like them. For example, I'm sure Mosquito will be adored by Firefly fans. But to anyone who hasn't seen any of those episodes, pretty much a yawner.

You Can Be My Cowboy, And I Can Be Your Cowboy

From what I've noticed, nothing gets people talking more during the holiday season that a movie about gay cowboys. At two separate social outings, this Brokeback Mountain film gets brought up. And boy, did it bring up some debate. Especially among the ladies. From what they were talking about, I guess Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal hook up. And to most of the ladies, this idea disturbed them. One even said this would "ruin" her fantasies of them.

It's tough for me to understand this concept. I mean, if such a movie existed starring Angelina Jolie and Keira Knightley, it would actually improve their fantasy value. Don't believe me? Check out David Spade's Brokeback sequel idea. Now that's what I'm talking about. From what I understand, dude-on-dude action isn't as popular for women as the lesbian genre is in most guy's book. Heck, some females I've heard would rather watch two women go at it then two men. And gay guy stuff is definitely not a popular attraction for most men so who the hell is going to see this movie? You make this movie with a couple chicks, though? You might have a box-office recordbreaker on your hands.

"Looking like a hero. Six-gun at my side. Chewing my tobacco... Indians on the warpath."

Lightning Round The Second

This is it! Your chance to move up the 2005 quote standings, keep your rivals at arm's length, or improve your station. As promised, here is the Sock Drawer's suped-up lightning round for the quote contest. Remember, most of you will not get full credit for a quote. I changed up the grading curve from the last time. Those who have 45 or more points will need to guess four right to gain a point. Those who have 30 or more points will need to guess three right to gain a point. Those who have 15 or more points will need to guess two right to gain a point. Those who have under 15 points will gain a point for every correct guess. To someone who is not currently on the standings board, you will get two points for your first correct guess. Then just one after that.

Sometimes, I would leave clues in the blog entry, so I've linked back to the day the quote debuted, just like the first lightning round.

"Objection. Conjecture. Conjection." August 03, 2004

"But what if when I'm putting on the nose, the snowman comes to life and tries to kill me?!"
"When has that ever happened except that one time?" August 13, 2004

"I make stabby." August 23, 2004

"But see! That's what I'm talking about! Now he'll send **** after the rest of us and he'll go totally sickhouse on our asses! I *like* my ass gentlemen." August 26, 2004

"Holy dammit Christmas!" September 1, 2004

"Now that we've exchanged pleasantries and hot panda milk, let's talk business." September 2, 2004

"I have only three active brain cells, and even I knew that." September 4, 2004

"Mandalay! I've come aflame again!" September 9, 2004

"You wanna know why Joey Ramone's my hero? Cause people like you never managed to grind him down. They never stole his spirit. He never gave in. Never gave up and never sold out right til his last breath. And he's not dead. Guys like that... they live forever." September 11, 2004

"We here at the Disney apologize to Ray Lewis. We... believe Trent Dilfer Sucks. To make up with Ray, Disney has created a cartoon to show we our sorry." (an extra point if you name the title of the cartoon.) September 12, 2004

"Woodgod: Half man, half goat. All ass-kicker." September 18, 2004

"Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as perception. Yet you somehow brazenly declare seeing is believing?" September 22, 2004

"Which of your obsessive-compulsive fixations is behind today's summons?" September 23, 2004

"Friends are just enemies who don't have the guts to kill you." September 24, 2004

"This game is stupid! You spend an hour hanging wind chimes and then you fight? What kind of game is that?" September 26, 2004

"You see, the thing about heaven is that heaven is for people who like the sort of things that go on in heaven. Like, well, singing, talking to God, watering pot plants." September 30, 2004

"I've been calling you. Why haven't you been answering my calls?"
"You're dead."
"Oh yeah... that." October 4, 2004

"Planting a timebomb in a local library is a felony." October 15, 2004

"Uh, Mr. President... You're on the floor."
"No shit?" October 16, 2004

"Good Lord! I think you've stumbled on the recipe for 'suck.'" October 18, 2004

"Snow is beautiful, don't you think? Clean, uncompromising--like the swift hand of vengeance." October 20, 2004

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them." October 21, 2004

"Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?" October 22, 2004

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." October 23, 2004

"Hulk want Slurpee!" October 29, 2004

"This is stupid. I wish we weren't penguins and that our show wasn't cancelled." October 30, 2004

"Ah. You have a burpy tummy." November 2, 2004

"Organic web-shooters! Now there's something you'll never see in a movie!" November 4, 2004

"Some monkey in the Pentagon is gonna cook our goose. His finger's on the button all he needs is the cue." November 20, 2004

"Look at what I took credit for finding." November 23, 2004

"Because of what happened before the commercial, I would like to apologize to all blind people and children." November 24, 2004

"I'm you. You're me. And this is a gun." November 26, 2004

These are the leftover quotes from September, October, and November of last year.

What Does This Say About Serenity Fans?

This came up on Amazon:

Recommended because you added Serenity to your Shopping Cart:

334.		Panasonic ER411NC Nose and Ear Hair Groomer Average Customer Review: Release Date: May 16, 2002

Dating Question

Okay, this one goes out to the ladies. Like I did back during Dating Week, I'm going to throw out a scenario that I've encountered in my dating life so I can get some outside perspective. This time, it involves something that happened during a couple dinner dates. We go out someplace, order food, and I don't finish my meal. She cleans the plate and it looks like I barely touched mine.

So, ladies, how detrimental is this to me? Is it a bad sign if a guy is not a big eater? Does it hurt me that they can put it away and I can't? Do women start getting self-concious if their plate is empty and mine isn't? How bad do I botch things by not finishing my meal?

For more dating fun, check out dupree's recent dating forays. Read his take on 8 minute dating, things to remember about dating, and women in general.

"You get to live. But no guarentees."
"That's not a reward for me. That's a reward for all the fine ladies in the universe."

Merry Christmas Story

It's the defining holiday movie of my generation. What's the only way to make it better? Performed in 30 seconds with bunnies. Okay, it's not better. But it is pretty funny.

And if you like that, you'll like more half-minute summaries starring rabbits, check out the rest from Angry Alien.

White Christmas 2005
Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

Anyway, here's a shot of my parents' house which is once again sporting a decent amount of snow during the holidays. I had sent a similar picture to friends of mine a couple years ago since many of them lived in the south. I figured those in warm weather would like a glimpse of a White Christmas. What do I get for my trouble? One of those "friends" shows me what his Christmas is like. While I was breaking my back shovelling snow, Bacon sends me a picture of him outside in a hot tub enjoying the baumy Ft. Myers weather. Jerk. I was considering sharing that picture and emberrassing him, but that would be punishing those who don't deserve it. Instead, here's a shot of Scuba Santa at the Newport Aquarium. Much better suited for the holiday than shirtless Bacon. Don't you think? Merry Christmas, everybody!

"Beauty is a curse on the world. It keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are."

CJ Celebrations

Is this a preview of what to expect in the Bills-Bengals game? Chad Johnson would love to get a deer on the field. Apparently, that's against NFL regulations. Or the ASPCA's. Or both. I'm sure he'll come up with something good. It's been a banner year for his post-TD performances and will have something good for when the Bills come to town.

Whenever I think of a Bill-Bengals game, I actually don't think of match-ups between Boomer and Jim Kelly, I think about one game I went to see in person. But the show was actually in the stands. Me and MOe were sitting next to a drunken retard. I know a lot of people have say that, but I mean it literally. This was a mentally handicapped individual who had drank alcohol. Apparently, a lot of it. He was also a wrestling fan as he would keep yelling at various Bills players saying things like "Hey, Flutie! Suck this!" and then gesture to his crotch region. Eventually, he stopped yelling and by the second half, he was napping peacefully. I guess the little guy got tuckered out with all the excitement. What happened in the game, itself? I have no idea. But that classy little fellow made it worth the price of admission.

"Tattoo on the lower back? Might as well be a bullseye."

Enjoy The Lites

Have you seen that wicked commercial with a house that lights up in accordance with this crazy Christmas music? Here's the video. Although, I can't get it to work. Here's one that worked for me. The music is by the Trans Siberian Orchestra. Apparently, that house is in Ohio. Apparently, they shut down the display because it got too much attention. Apparently, the lights are actually synched up to songs that are broadcast on a low-frequency FM signal. Apparently, it's in the Cincinnati area. Man, I would go see that. No wonder they shut it down. I would spend all night there staring at it and being so gosh darn entertained.

Oh, apparently, Amy talked about this a while ago. Which is good because she provided a good link to download a full clip. Definitely worth a look-see. I mean, this guy put all this work into it, probably more than anyone should, so everyone should go enjoy. I know I'll be staring at it into the late hours of the night.

"Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo Bananas in charge."

Fantasy Over

It's that time of year again where I lick my wounds and look back at the fantasy football season and try to figure out what went wrong. It wasn't that hard in the league made up of former co-workers. (Happy birthday, Commish!) While some dedicated their season to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, I blamed my season on the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Yeah, I know. Classy. But my top two picks were New Orleans Saints and my QB was pride of Breaux Bridge, LA: Jake Delhomme. No wonder I couldn't win any of my last five games, despite starting 6-2.

Things were different for my Unabated Sports team. I did real well, got the third seed, and won my first playoff game by a comfortable margin. Too bad that, in the semi-final game, I got my ass handed to me by Kelly Holcomb, Brooks Bollinger, and Jonathan Wells. Yeah, a friggen' Houston Texan.

"There's thirty seven cents in the coin caddy. And stay out of my diary!"

Your Second Chance at Serenity

Here we go again. This is your second chance to catch one of the best movies of 2005. Serenity comes out on DVD today. It's pretty much universally praised and has something for pretty much everyone. Despite it's goodness, it didn't make a big splash in theaters. So, for those of us who already know it's greatness and want more, this is our last chance. DVD sales are what resurrected the once-cancelled Firefly and could give us future adventures from Captain Mal and his crew. If not, this might be our last chance at the 'verse. So, here's the plan: obviously, you're gonna buy it for yourself. But also give it to someone as a gift. Spread the joy, create new Browncoats, get more Serenity.

"So long, kids. Give my regards to the British Museum."

Your 2005 AFC North Champions!

For the first time since I liveblogged the NFL draft, I got to spend a football Sunday over at the Goat's. That means I got to enjoy the NFL in all it's DirectTicket goodness. Obviously, the first part of the day was spent mostly on his Seahawks and the second part of the afternoon on my Bengals. Still, it was a lot of fun to bounce back and forth among games and keep tabs on all the Week 15 craziness. After working every Sunday since March, it was nice just to sit my keester down in front of the tube and actually cheer on my team with other people in the building.

I've been pretty brutal on the Bengals for the last couple months. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I've been blogging about the game as it's been going on or immediately following the game. Last year, I broke down the game the following Monday so I had time to fully absorb the game and take in some perspective. Not so, this year. Kneejerk reactions, away! Another reason is that all of the games since Week 3 have been too tight for my tastes. Today, the Men in Stripes finally got a big lead on an inferior team and held them down.

I mean, this Lions team has enough bad things going on. The last thing you want to do is give them a little ray of sunshine. Let them wallow in their problems. Go up on them by four touchdowns in the fourth quarter and get Special K some snaps so he's not rusty if you need him in a pinch.

So, glad to see the division officially in the bag. The focus is now on trying to catch Denver for the AFC's #2 seed. The final home game of the regular season is this Saturday against Buffalo and then head to Arrowhead for a match-up with the Chiefs that may or may not mean anything to either team. Anyway, let there be partying from Westchester to Florence, the Cincinnati Bengals are back in the playoffs!

"This child is a theory, not a fact."

The New Siberia

Now that Cincinnati has officially clinched it's first winning season in 15 years, it's time to pick the new "Siberia of the NFL". Even though there's a lot of bad teams out there, you don't have to look much farther than this weekend's opponent: the Detroit Lions. Fire Millen.net has lots more pictures similar to the one here (a nice photshop job on one of Chad Johnson's infamous TD celebrations) on the right of famous people (and animals) holding up similar signs. There's billboards that also mock the GM and fans are organizing an Orange Week. And fans compare a Lions game to other painful things. Does any of this sound familiar? I recall similar ideas and sentiments being bounced around these parts about ten years ago. So, congratulations to the Motor City. You are now the crappiest franchise in the best sports league on Earth.


"My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself."

The King

I was looking for pictures of the Burger King mascot for an Unabated Sports story and was amused by some of these that I found. So, I figured I would share with the rest of the class.
"I saw an after school special about that. It didn't work out too well for Kristy McNichol. But, then again, nothing did"

Lost Theories

As near as I can tell, no new LOST episodes until next year. That's fine with me. It's nice to take some time and look at what clues we already have and throw together some new theories and throw out old ones. I hope they do a better job this year deciding when to air their new episodes and when to go on hiatus. And when the show takes a break, that means it's time to start gathering together some theories. First, if you need a recap, or are just clueless, here's LOST for the Lost, courtesy of All Things Christie.

Okay, some interesting thoughts regarding the mystery island. One pushes the idea of a collective conciousness pushing all the buttons. (You probably already saw this on Amy's site.) Or maybe it's just a big coincindence. I'm actually starting to lean towards the coincidence one. Well, not all coincidence. Just that there's probably no puppeteers left and these survivors are in the remnants of these wacky experiments. Of course, my theories change with just about every episode so maybe I shouldn't bother committing this idea to cyberspace. I don't know, what do you think is going on there?

And here's something funny for fans of the show: LOST rhapsody. Heh, flash is funny.

"People love this suit. Just like they love their stupid American flag."

My LXG

Before I begin, do not be diswayed that by taking part in today's challenge due to the bad movie based on a good graphic novel. The basic concept of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is taking fictional characters from separate classic novels published around the same time and combining them into one team. And in the story, it was revealed that there were multiple variations of the League in different periods of history. Recently, another website did the same with modern novels. Maybe I'm just a big crossover nut but I always wondered how well certain characters would translate into different books and other worlds. A few years ago, Wizard Magazine created a team from American movies. I thought it was a neat idea but I didn't think they thought out the team (Indiana Jones, Jack Ryan, Hannibal Lecter, Sarah Connor, John Rambo, and John Shaft) or their mission (to take down a rogue James Bond) very well. Since I didn't have a blog back then, I presented the idea to a message board to try and get feedback, see if they could come up with a cooler team. Of course, some dipstick tries to say that the fact that Americans turn to movies as their cultural contribution to the world. What a fun-killer.

But others did throw out some ideas for a team and even a challenge for them. At the time, I loved the idea of Freddie Krueger as their bad guy. Another threat could be certain creatures you don't feed after midnight, can't get wet, and can't be put in the sun. Or a shark that requires a bigger boat. After that, I liked this team and would probably keep some of them if I threw together a squad now. Actually, let's do that now. Here's my League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

John McClane: Obviously, the hero of the Nakatomi Plaza has skills. But the reason I want him on this team is because I'm the one putting it together. So it's a no-brainer to add in the best action hero of all time. His ability to adapt to a situation where the odds are against him make him an excellent addition to the group. But his one-liners should also make him the one to watch when the fit hits the shan.


Sarah Connor: If you're looking for someone to take on an impending apocolypse, you look for Sarah Connor. She can handle any kind of armament and is built to take on Terminators. The government can offer to keep her out of the insane asylum and protect her son, John. Of course, this would have to take place after T2, but before T3 since they mentioned she died there. Or did she? Most of Alan Moore's original Extraordinary Gentlemen had either faked their own demise or had escaped their supposed deaths in their original tales. So, maybe Sarah Connor is still alive and staying out of Skynet's vision. I will admit, I swiped this choice from Wizard's list.

Alex Rogan: The LXG will require more than just bruisers to accomplish their goal, whatever it might be. The Last Starfighter could be the League's pilot. He took videogame violence to the stars and became a gunner for an alien defense force. Hands on experience with alien technology is definately a bonus on this team. Of course, it would be even more of a bonus if the threat were alien. Maybe I should have come up with an antagonist before assembling a team. Matt Trakker wouldn't have been this sloppy. Anyway, Alex has probably gone into the Air Force or something and been a big part of Area 51 or some other reverse engineering department of the government.

Johnny 5: The star of Short Circuit would add a lot of firepower and personality, even though he's a robot. He has encyclopedic knowledge (if he reads an encyclopedia beforehand) and has a lot to offer. I have no idea why he would take part other than the promise of "more input." Maybe they threaten to remove his covetted American citizenship which he proudly earned in the instant classic known as Short Circuit 2.

Harry Potter: He's just about the most powerful member of the team, but he is just a kid. It could make for some interesting interaction between him and the more grizzled veterans on the squad. Also, he might form bonds with other members of the team that were "child stars" like Rogan and the liason-to-be-named-later. I have no idea how Potter would be the one to represent the magical community and what threat could be big enough to require a wizard. Also, everyone else is American so no clue how they get him off of British soil. You would think I just threw this list together or something.

John Blutarsky: And who would assemble such a group but Bluto himself. Okay, before you laugh, remember the end of Animal House did say he went on to become a U.S. Senator. So, this is the guy who gathers this team in the interest of national security. Or, he's still a drunk and has a sick sense of humor. But he is a Senator so he wouldn't have a lot of team to deal hands-on with his team. So, who would he choose to handle the operations?

Ferris Bueller: Long before the internet was a household thing, he used computers to bypass the system. This was a resourceful boy who, more than likely, became even more so as he grew older. This would make him the perfect point man as leader and government liason. Armed with a casio and an Apple II, he was able to pull off the greatest "hookie day" ever. With a team working for him that could break the laws of physics, imagine what he could accomplish.

What do you think of my team? I took some of my ideas, mixed them with other suggestions, and here you go. Got any better cadidates? What cinematic bad guy would be bad enough to require such an assemblage against them?

"You have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne?"

Well, At Least It Looks Neat

I think the only time I mentioned the third X-Men movie was when I took potshots at it. Man, I don't think I heard more than one thing positive about it for every ten negative things about it. Good buzz or not, the movie's still coming out. Well, if you haven't seen it yet, here's the X3 trailer. I mean, it looks good. Just kinda... crowded. Of course, trailers can make just about anything look good so I guess that isn't something to hang your hat on. At least they had something to work with so it can't be complete crap, right?

"It is an historical fact, sharing has never been humanity's defining attribute."

Painful Game

Nothing more frustrating than watching your team play like ass against an inferior squad and keep them in the ball game all day long. A defense that continues to look awful if they're not catching passes. A defensive tackle who lines up over the football jumps offsides twice to allow key first down conversions.

On top of that, a few Bengals spent significant time down on the turf getting looked at by trainers. RB Chris Perry, C Rich Braham, and S Ifeanyi Ohalete. Actually, that last one might be a good thing. He's had some bad games.

And I almost had a coniption with the offensive "strategy" on the final plays of the game. With a little less than a minute to go, the game tied, and the ball just inside the kicker's range, the playcalling bordered on idiotic. They kept throwing the ball. Not only did they risk an interception, but they really were not managing the clock well. They very easily could have left a decent amount of time for Cleveland to either comeback or take the lead.

Despite all this whining on my part, a win is a win and the AFC North is practically wrapped up. Marvin Lewis has his first winning season against the division (5-1) and the Bengals have reached double digit wins and continue to have a two game lead over the hated Steelers. Either a loss on their part or another Cinci win officially clinches the AFC North. Next week, a visit to Detroit. Hopefully, that will result in an easy win and maybe just their first trip this season to Ford Field?

I brought up the concept of ads during NFL games pandering to men last week. I bring it up again because CBS has actually shown restraint in one regard. Sure, they sex up their CSIs and put Boot Camp Babes on NCIS, but the network hadn't shown any commercials during their NFL coverage for Ghost Whisperer before today. I mean, look at that. She's built to pander! Although, Herb disputes my theory that those aren't real and the "real" Ghost Whisperer told him that she is all natural. I still remain skeptical. Anyway, I was surprised they didn't flaunt the lovely JLH before now. And even in that commercial, they spent more of it showing dead people than the hottie star. I don't even think they showed her cleavage. What is wrong with these people?!

"We need help."
"I'll say. You two should look at a mirror sometime. You look like shit run over twice."

And We're Back...

Sorry for the technical difficulties the Sock Drawer has experienced this week. The entire peelio.com family was afflicted and The Goat is working to prevent another such occurrence. It may be at another place, though. I'll keep you posted. Apparently, "Our Policy is That Customers are Responsible for Data Loss" which is stupid. It's like Arby's blaming you when you show up and they're out of roast beef. Pretty stupid. But it wasn't a catastrophic loss and most of the posts should be recoverable and I'll be back on my regular schedule here starting today. Next week, I'll put back the post about the big new LOST theories and I'm looking to create my own League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Should be a good time.

But Saturdays mean previewing the upcoming Bengals team. The Cincinnati-hosted Battle of Ohio will be on tomorrow. With a win over the Browns, the AFC North crown is all but officially worn by Marvin Lewis and his team. After last weekend's big emotional win in Pittsburgh, I'm actually concerned about a letdown. Two years ago, the Browns handed it to the Bengals on the last game of the year with a playoff spot on the line. So, it can be done. For a franchise so closely associated with failure, I'm worried about how they will deal with success. I mean, Chad was calling for the Super Bowl after just one quality win, I think I'm justified that these guys might be getting a little caught up in all the hype. Hopefully, they take care of business tomorrow and pave the way for those all-important plaayoffs.

"I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I decided to give you a call."

Blogging about Blogging

I think I read somewhere that blogging about the act of blogging is a sin. Well, then, I will be guilty today. Logan's House of the Ded is considering a hiatus or status-quo change. You know, in order to spend time doing productive things. Whenever someone talks about changing up their site, it makes me consider mine. I'm also going to be going through some employment changes, which would definitely determine how much I can work on this blog and the Unabated Sports one. I understand some places really frown on employees blogging while on the clock. Or just plain don't let them by limitting access to computers and cyberspace and whatnot. Pretty weird but I guess they get to set the rules if they're doling out the paychecks.

Anyway, back to blogging. KB had an interesting take on the evolution of blogging and social networking that seem to be the next big thing. I've just recently created a personal MySpace page and am wondering how much to put into that. I mean, you can post pictures, personal information, customize your page, add a song or video, and even blog. I don't know what it says about me but I just haven't fully embraced it. It seems weird coming from a guy who blogs every day but the MySpace format seems a bit much. What I like about the blog is that I really dictate what parts of my life I put out there, and it's not a lot. With MySpace, it seems like you really have to put yourself out there to bring people in. Or maybe it's the amount of work required that is keeping me at bay. Anyone else feel that way (or differently, for that matter) about MySpace or Friendster or Tribe (which I haven't even tried yet) or any other social network?

"Hey, my eyes aren't glistening with the ghosts of my past!"

Birthday Fashion Show In My Bathroom

Like I've said before, if you get me stuff, I'll put it on this site. These were actually for my birthday, unlike the random act of kindness perpetuated by the Hamsters. Still, definitely worthy of sharing. To the right is the jersey of the Bengals left guard, Eric Steinbach. Anyone and everyone has a Chad Johnson jersey, but my street cred will take a jump thanks to this offensive lineman jersey given to me by Moe. And the only thing I might cover it up with is the Bearcat sweatshirt I'm sporting on the left. Thanks to Dave and his lovely wife Jill for that one. Don't let that face fool you, I've been enjoying that present. Thanks to everyone that gives me stuff!

"Never show weakness, the only pain that matters is the pain you inflict."

Boy, Did We Need That

On how many levels was today's Cincinnati Bengals win important? Lots. First, a win over a quality team for the first time in 2005. Second, finally beating the hated Steelers. After all, to be the man, you have to beat the man. Whoo! Third, the team now holds it's destiny in it's own hands, especially if they can beat the Browns next week. I think the magic number would only be one in that case. Fourth, the franchise guarentees it's first winning season in 15 years. Congratulations, Detroit. You are now the new Siberia of the NFL.

Non-football related: Quite a trend where the major selling point of new DVDs is seeing a pair of Jessicas in their underwear. In a scene that wasn't really used to promote the theatrical release, you see Jessica Alba, the Invisible Woman, turning her clothes invisible. And the commerciall just kind of lingers there. Also, the Dukes of Hazard DVD apparently is unrated. I'm guessing that because they mentioned it no less than three times in ten seconds. The shots of Jessica Simpson backed up these claims, although you know they still won't show nothin' good. Also, I found it strange that during CBS's constant plugging for the Victoria Secret's Fashion Show that they took up time that they could be showing women in lingerie, they snuck in a shot of Ricky Martin. If you're gonna pander to men, you might as well do it right.

Speaking of commercials, that dumbass ad for diamonds really doesn't have a lot of impact since you showed the "heartwarming conclusion" a month ago. It made no sense then because you hadn't aired the setup. So, that emotional impact really wasn't there. Either time. And I didn't need to go to your web site to see the surprise ending. You already showed it to me. Nice job. Asshats.

"Welcome to Los Angeles."
"We're here to hit you."

Young Love For Insane Old People

Am I the only one who found this story a little odd?

Jealousy may have motivated a Cleveland woman to drive more than three hours to Cincinnati to set another woman's house on fire. Mary Pederi, 57, was charged with aggravated arson and attempted murder after police say she set a 65 year-old woman's house on fire. Both women had been romantically involved with the same 72-year-old man.

Like a bunch of crazy teenagers. You gotta give credit to the guy who was born before World War II but can still inspire that kind of passion from a woman fifteen years younger.

"Your apartment smells like Polygrip and cat pee."

Dating Week and Steeler Week Wrap-Up

Just a big thank you to everyone who put in their two cents during the Sock Drawer's Dating Week. It was good to get a lot of different viewpoints on this subject matter, especially from both men and women. A lot of pointers and suggestions and stories that should help me as I continue to make my way through the dating pool. I'm sure I'll make some more observations and have some amusing stories to share in the future but this pretty much wraps up Dating Week for me. That much new content is a bit exhausting for me. It's been a while since I put that much into this blog and I may need to rest up a bit. Besides, it's Steeler Week!

Once again, another opportunity for the Bengals to prove their for real and don't just beat cupcakes. They missed this chance against Jacksonville, Indianapolis, and Pittsburgh already. Sure, they notched a win against the Bears, but that was not an 8-3 team they whalloped in the Windy City. Not only is this a chance to finally beat a quality opponent, but this game will play a major role in determining the 2005 AFC North winner. If Cincinnati wins, they take a 2 game lead in the division with only four games remaining. And if they can beat the Browns next week, they would own the tie-breaker over the Steelers. But, if Pittsburgh wins, they will have swept the Bengals and would have the head-to-head advantage should they end the season with the same reason. For the third or fourth time, this will be the biggest game of the year and it would nice if the Men in Stripes could actually win one of those.

"I'm not a one-woman man."
"Don't worry. You'll be back to zero soon enough."

Dating Week: Don't Be Late

This week, I've been doling out advice and being pretty picky about who I want to date. But maybe I shouldn't be so high and mighty. After all, I haven't exactly been Mr. Stellar when it comes to the dates I've went on. In fact, there was one in particular that stands out. The place we agreed to meet was, according to Mapquest, 6 minutes from my place. I left 20 minutes early. I was a half an hour late. To no one's surprise, I'm sure, there was no second date.

"If you don’t mind, I will begin at the beginning. Long before Christ, the king of Judah was a man named Josiah."
"Boy, when you say beginning, you mean beginning."

Dating Week: Nerd Girl

Similar to yesterday's post about a female sports fan, I get people who ask me if I want a woman who reads comics or partakes in one of my other nerdly hobbies. The answer is definitely not. Granted, it's not a dealbreaker but I would actually prefer her not to be invested in the world of comics and/or sci-fi. Sure, the idea of us discussing the latest Battlestar Galactica issue or the ramifications of Inifite Crisis sounds like a good thing. But there is the potential for things to go wrong. What if I don't like her favorite character from LOST? I could easily get sick of hearing about how misunderstood he is. What if she enjoyed the artistic stylings of Rob Liefeld? I would lose so much respect for her. What is she was into something like Magic: The Gathering or some other activity that even I thought was too geeky?

I'm not going to ask her to jump into the deep end that is the Poindexter Pool. I won't expect her to do a strip-tease to the Mighty Mouse theme or dress up as Slave Leia. But all I'm asking is that she not give me too much flack or be too emberrassed by my geek-ite endeavors. Just give me some space on new comics day and don't talk during Galactica, baby, and we'll get along just fine.

"You think I care what store in that shitpit dirt mall has the latest Godzilla bootlegs ? Do you call eating pizza in the same dive pizzeria every night eating out ? Do I give a shit that two comic labels are crossing over characters, selling two editions of the book in varied-ink chromium covers ? I'm a girl, damn it ! I wanna do girly things!"