Good Time Quotes Standings

First off, I just want to say good job to all of you this past week. All week you've been supplying quality feedback either in the form of your opinion or information you tracked down in regards to stuff I didn't know. Whether it was great feedback on my dressing up as pirates or supplying information on mysterious billboards or discussing what's wrong with my parenting philosohpies or explaining what you have to look out for with newfangled HDTVs or breaking down whether pirates are hotter than stormtroopers or sharing some D's Nuts jokes, lots of good stuff out of all of you this week. Outstanding job, everyone. It makes this blogging thing a whole lot more fun when you can look back at a bunch of fun comments, even when they're taking shots at me.

As a result, I added a point to everyone who made a comment last week that sounded off about one of those posts. Just my way of saying thank you, even when some of you were actually taking potshots at my mental well-being. Anyway, here's the point totals so far.

Quote Standings
Eric 47
Tom the Dog 21
The Goat 20
dupree 15
Logan 13
Amy 11
Doodyhead 9
Zman 8
Kerry 8
Greg Burgas 7
Jeff 6
Zandra 7
Nagel 4
Herb 3
MOe 3
Jeremy 3
Rinnert 3
Natalie 2
Joel 2
Bill D 1
Kyle 1
Dale 1
Mona 1
Nik 1

And here's the standard explanation of the contest for those who just got here and have no idea what is going on: At the end of every blog entry, I leave you with a quote. Be the first one to make a comment stating where the quote from and you get a point. Anyone can guess. Even if new entries are put up, all previous unclaimed quotes from 2006 are still fair game. Whoever has the most points at the end of the year is the winner.

I'm gonna put a link on your name, unless you tell me otherwise. For those of you who are not linked right now, I don't know where to send people. Let me know if there's a link location to point to.

"Gentlemen, your work today has been outstanding and I intend to recommend you all for promotion... in whatever fleet we end up serving."

Strangers With Colbert

I kinda wish all of the interviews on the Colbert Report would end up like this one? Can you imagine him tumbling with politicians? Good times.

"Now get out of here! I have to go back to reading everyone's emails... over the P.A. system."

What's Hotter: Pirates or Stormtroopers?

Dragon*Con 2005


Originally uploaded by ckirkman.

This was brought up in an important discussion earlier in the week by Kerry that maybe folks dressing up as pirates are hotter than stormtroopers. Today, we examine that pressing question. Because, let's face it: we, as a nation, have not done enough to face this issue head on. So, I did some grueling research and found out the awful truth: there's some good-looking stormtroopers in the Emporer's employ. I know, it's tough work scouring the internet for women but it's something I'm willing to do for the Sock Drawer audience. Anyway, here's what I found.

See what I mean? There's a pretty good looking trooper to the right there. Sure, the bare midriff kinda defeats the purpose of "battle armor" but I appreciate the modification. And she's not the only alone. That one on the left, with the helmet on.. I can assume that the woman under there is attractive, as well. That's a safe assumption, right?

There's also Darth Vader's personal stormwenches. You'll have to click on the link to see them because I just have way too many pictures on this post, as is. Anyway, back to Darth. He's a Dark Lord of the Sith and can hang with whomever he wants. You see he chose wisely. Dark Anakin hangs with stormtrooper babes and so should you. Way better looking than those stinky, unhygenic pirates. I mean, look at their toothless scurvy-covered selves down there. You want any part of them? No, didn't think so. I mean, I thought you were sick, but not that sick.
Okay, these may not be the most accurate samples I can think of but I did want to point out there is a goodlooking clone or two working for the empire. And they may try to make Johnny Depp as pretty as possible, but it just didn't work on me. How can this style of dress possibly appeal to a red-blooded American man like me?Oh. Okay. Fine. I might be able to see a merit or two in the whole dressing up like a pirate thing. So maybe Kerry's right and pirates are sexier. Or have I shown you that stormtroopers can be hot mamas, too?

"Tonight I'm downloading porn at 14 kilabytes per second. Heh, I'm just kidding. I got a cable modem back here."

Childless Man Spouts Off About Parenting

Kid On A Leash


Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

So I'm at the Cincinnati Zoo yesterday when I spot this sight: a parent lugging a kid around by a leash. Not the first time I've seen that, but it was the first time I was able to snap a shot of it and put it on my blog for discussion. When I do see a scene like this, one thought goes through my mind:

Pure genius.

I bet my parents would have loved to had this resource to keep me from running off. And if I ever have kids, I'll be at the leash store picking out a nice one for junior while the wife is in labor. Yep, I am the definition of "supportive."

What's the downside? Other than the kid running wide and clotheslining a crowd, it seems like a great way to keep track of your kin. And who's going to kidnap the toddler wearing a strap and tethered to their parental unit? I'm sure the pedophile will move on to the next kid who's mother is the only one in the place that can't hear the kid saying "mommy" 80 times a minute. At that point, everyone's rooting for the child to get snatched.

We have leash laws for our pets, why not our kids? I'm sure that there's some really obvious reason more parents should be doing this but I'm not seeing it. Of course, I'm not even qualified to babysit let alone raise a child so maybe this just proves how horribly underqualified I am to procreate.

"I can go all night like a lumberjack."

Wood Travels Week: Ramses In Illinois

When I say "Egyptian Pyramids", where do you think these might be located? Wadsworth, Illinois? Good guess. Look, there's one now. Yes, just a short drive north of Chicago is this fine example of one of the Great Seven Wonders of the World. Well, if the Seven Wonders had to deal with zoning restrictions and had campers parked in the neighbors yard, I guess.

What you're looking at is 3+ acres of American soil tacklessly transformed into a little piece of paradise next to the Nile. How do you do such a thing? You start with a house that is not shaped like a house. Then dig a moat around it. Accent the driveway with dozens of goat-sized sphinxes. Then drop a giant statue of Ramses in the middle of the front yard. Top it off with a gift shop and surround the entire yard with heiroglyphic-encrusted fencing. Oh, and don't forget the fake, scrawny palm tree you swiped from Hooters.

What is this bizarre concoction in the middle of the Midwest? It is known as many things: the Gold Pyramid House, cause it's a house shaped like a pyramid that was covered in gold. (It was changed to gold paint cause the sun would reflect off the real gold and blind people driving by.) It was also the Onan Pyramid House cause it was started by some family called the "Onans." I giess. And we already covered the fact it looks like a pyramid. At one time, it may have been home to the office for Egypt Tour & Travel. I've tried to find more information on it and found a couple tidbits: Roadside America has an article on it, there's even a SixoSix article, whatever that is.

And if you think it's weird from the ground, check out these satellite pics and an above view here, too. It really gives you a perspective on the large scope of the kookiness.

The Ballad of the Bengals Fan

You probably already saw this on Deadspin but I think it's good enough to share. It's great for Bengal fans and even you Steeler haters out there. The songs from a musician named Ryan Parker who has a few other Bengal songs, as well as those for the Reds, UK, Wildcats, and even Marshall.

"We say 'Who Dey?', they say 'We Dey!', we say 'No Way, Not Again!'”