Tuesday, July 11, 2006

What's Hotter: Pirates or Stormtroopers?




Dragon*Con 2005


Originally uploaded by ckirkman.

This was brought up in an important discussion earlier in the week by Kerry that maybe folks dressing up as pirates are hotter than stormtroopers. Today, we examine that pressing question. Because, let's face it: we, as a nation, have not done enough to face this issue head on. So, I did some grueling research and found out the awful truth: there's some good-looking stormtroopers in the Emporer's employ. I know, it's tough work scouring the internet for women but it's something I'm willing to do for the Sock Drawer audience. Anyway, here's what I found.

See what I mean? There's a pretty good looking trooper to the right there. Sure, the bare midriff kinda defeats the purpose of "battle armor" but I appreciate the modification. And she's not the only alone. That one on the left, with the helmet on.. I can assume that the woman under there is attractive, as well. That's a safe assumption, right?

There's also Darth Vader's personal stormwenches. You'll have to click on the link to see them because I just have way too many pictures on this post, as is. Anyway, back to Darth. He's a Dark Lord of the Sith and can hang with whomever he wants. You see he chose wisely. Dark Anakin hangs with stormtrooper babes and so should you. Way better looking than those stinky, unhygenic pirates. I mean, look at their toothless scurvy-covered selves down there. You want any part of them? No, didn't think so. I mean, I thought you were sick, but not that sick.
Okay, these may not be the most accurate samples I can think of but I did want to point out there is a goodlooking clone or two working for the empire. And they may try to make Johnny Depp as pretty as possible, but it just didn't work on me. How can this style of dress possibly appeal to a red-blooded American man like me?Oh. Okay. Fine. I might be able to see a merit or two in the whole dressing up like a pirate thing. So maybe Kerry's right and pirates are sexier. Or have I shown you that stormtroopers can be hot mamas, too?

"Tonight I'm downloading porn at 14 kilabytes per second. Heh, I'm just kidding. I got a cable modem back here."

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