Childless Man Spouts Off About Parenting

Kid On A Leash


Originally uploaded by Woodmania.

So I'm at the Cincinnati Zoo yesterday when I spot this sight: a parent lugging a kid around by a leash. Not the first time I've seen that, but it was the first time I was able to snap a shot of it and put it on my blog for discussion. When I do see a scene like this, one thought goes through my mind:

Pure genius.

I bet my parents would have loved to had this resource to keep me from running off. And if I ever have kids, I'll be at the leash store picking out a nice one for junior while the wife is in labor. Yep, I am the definition of "supportive."

What's the downside? Other than the kid running wide and clotheslining a crowd, it seems like a great way to keep track of your kin. And who's going to kidnap the toddler wearing a strap and tethered to their parental unit? I'm sure the pedophile will move on to the next kid who's mother is the only one in the place that can't hear the kid saying "mommy" 80 times a minute. At that point, everyone's rooting for the child to get snatched.

We have leash laws for our pets, why not our kids? I'm sure that there's some really obvious reason more parents should be doing this but I'm not seeing it. Of course, I'm not even qualified to babysit let alone raise a child so maybe this just proves how horribly underqualified I am to procreate.

"I can go all night like a lumberjack."