Drawing Blashpemous Conclusions From Mixed Media Reports

There's a lot of articles coming out about the upcoming Superman Returns movie. There's the usual fare, then some examining Superman as a character, an icon, and what he means (or could mean) to various factions of humaity.

Supposedly, a big gay magazine says Superman is gay-ish. Brian Singer says no. Despite this, it's pretty much agreed that there's a lot of gay appeal in Superman. If he were totally straight, Supes would be flying around in jeans and a ball cap.

On the other side of the spectrum, some see Superman as a Christ-figure. You don't have to look far to see the similarites between Jesus and Kal-El. They've been made in comics before and it's no surprise that they would make it to the big screen.

So, if I understand these articles correctly, I'm coming to one conclusion:

Jesus is gay.

That's what the media has taught me. There's no way I could have misintrepreted what they said... right?

"That sonata may not be a Glenn Gould performance but, I must say, it's good as Gould."